A Waiter’s Life

Yeah, life of a waiter … Like it sounds, it doesn’t the best job in the world or any planet you ever visited. The job is done for one reason only: to sniff the paycheck. I don’t think one’s soul to become a waiter as his or her ambition. Honestly, when you were a child, playing sand or biting your classmates’ flesh, did you ever come across someone told your teacher that he or she wanted to be a waiter?

Actually, it is not my intention whatsoever to insult or to underestimate the job of a waiter. It’s good and most importantly it’s much better than begging and stealing. I was a waiter before—way years back. I have a lot of experience dealing with all walks of life. That’s the reason why this post is posted—as a reminder to us whenever we’re dealing with waiter. Another reason is I was triggered by my friend, Brother Bear, who wrote his experiences working with fast-food outlet.

Well, there were so much painful, agonizing, tiring experiences while I was working as a waiter in one of the most famous restaurant in my small town. Yet, it was a memorable experience when I found the beauty of a waiter. I guess that’s why they call it as bittersweet. But, for today, I would like to tell you, my dear readers about funny moments of when I was a waiter. Please allow me to write the events in both Malay and English.

Scene 1

Customer A came with his girlfriend I guess (Customer B).

Me: Nak makan ape bang?
A: Erm….saya nak western dua kurang pedas…bungkus eh western tu!
B: ……………..
Me: (Jawab dalam hati) Ape kau cakap ni setan!! Aku tau la awek kau hodoh, tapi tak payah nak bajet stylo ngan aku..Kau datang kampong mane eh jakun sangat ni?
Me: Errr…..western eh bang? Kita ade chicken chop, lamb chop, t-bone steak dan macam macam lagi lah..Nak yang mane satu?
A: Kan saya da cakap saya nak western kurang pedas 2 bungkus…
Me: Ye la bang….(Dalam hati: ko ni bodoh ke atau memang bangsat nak marah aku. Haish..belajar bertingkat tingkat tapi bodoh macam tongkat)
B: …………… (Bisu agaknya)

Scene 2

C: Dik, bagi kak chopstick 1..kuah nak black pepper.
Me: Haaaa…..???
C: Chopstick kuah black pepper..Cepat sikit tau..

Sesungguhnya wujud manusia sedemikian pada zaman ini..

Scene 3

A man with his wife and his son

Wife: Adik nak makan ape?
Son: Adik nak makan chicken chop….
Wife: Ooo, nak chicken chop..nak chicken chop tu nak yang ayam ke daging?
Me: Watta hell? (dalam hati; mak cik dulu belajar inggeris ngan cikgu jepun ke)
Son: Ayam…
Man: (Dalam hati berfikir macam mana aku nak bunuh diri)

Scene 4

G: Dik, tolong potong kicap pastu tuang lada..
Me: Ape la ko nak berbelit cakap ni, cili potong la.. Ko ingat aku ni bebal sangat ke sampai tak paham cili potong . Confuse abang!

Scene 5

Awek: Kat sini ade rojak ape ek?
Me: Semua ada kat sini, rojak ayam, rojak buah, rojak jemput jemput, rojak udang…. (kemain lagi aku promote)
Awek: Erm…nak rojak awak, bley x?
Me: Rojak saya tak de la (malu malu)
Awek: Alaaa…nak rojak awak jugak..
Me: (dalam hati; eh awak ni, saya bagi betul rojak saya, kang menangis plak)

It’s freaking funny. Believe me, when you are working in a place when you can meet all kind of people under one roof, it is very weird how human can be. Well, there were many other interesting encounters with these kinds of people. You need a very good mental and great public relationship for you to qualify to become a waiter. See, it’s not easy as it looks a job of a waiter. As an ex-experienced waiter, I suggest you, to treat waiter with respect because they too, a human being who deserves respect and dignity. Every time you go to mamak or other restaurant, it is easy to comfort the waiter by simply saying thank you or terima kasih or whatever appreciation utterances that suit with the waiter. They will feel much respected and appreciated by you. If you throw them shit, they will put that shit into your cup of tea. Just a piece of advice from a citizen of humanity.