Into the Sleepless Nights....

they got word for this..it's called insomnia..and i got this disorder since form two..it means i can't sleep well or in my situation, sleeping is something hard to achieve and u need to work hard just to sleep..pretty weird huh?? i know people love to sleep. some spend half of their life by sleeping all days and nights..there was a story told by my father that one of his friends can't sleep for days but once he shuts his eyelids, he can go sleeping not just for a half damn day but can last up to 2 to 3 days without even waking up...if you ask me, that's not just a compliment,~it's an achievement..







i love to sleep but i need at LEAST one hour to close my eyes..but, most of the time, it takes more than that..the disorder is killing me..i can't sleep at night when others are hugging their wives and husbands and teddy bear. mathematic and algebra require balancing~~when u hard to sleep, u hard to wake up..ironically, i am gifted with morning classes which i find another difficulties in my already difficult life..crawling from the bed that chains me, bind me, glued to me is something that my previous, current, and upcoming house mates punch their faces twice. it's like a victory to them when they are successfully wake me up..damn it~






amazingly, when the eye of heaven (Shakespeare W., Sonnet 18) touches the teeth of horizon, my eyes are dragging to close the shop.. once i fall to sleep, i will be haunted with dreams..i never missed not a single night, not even a moment of sleeping, without the attendance of dreams..its make me tired and my head is heavy..either the dream is good or pleasant or scary, it is part of my life..i hate dreaming of running..running from dinosaurs, monsters, demons and anything u can hardly imagine. these bastards are chasing me, of course, in my dream and i damn fucking sick of it. honestly, i hate running even in conscious situation..

i tried so many tips to make me fall asleep easily..when i consult the doctor, he said he can't give me the sleeping pills for a reason of the evidence: death of Heath Ledger and Marilyn Monroe~~~drug overdose..i ain't drug addict and perhaps for that particular reason they can't give me the pills..well, even it's hard, but i accept it because they are who-know-why people..the thing is, don't let yourself been spoon feed with bullshits just because of they are doctors and they consume their tremendous time learning all those stuff..well, mark my word, they are a bunch of people, who, like us, can make mistake too.. judge it with your own rationality..

my parents know my rusty problem and they throw me the tips, which are:

1- SLEEP EARLY...my explanation: i tried but failed..

2- SHEEP COUNTING...my explanation: this is ridiculous. i was once count it up to 3000 sheeps crossing the damn wooden gate but it also failed. i'll bet if count the sheeps or even the pink pigs using scientific calculator, it will also failed..i wonder where this so-called sleeping aid idea comes from at the first place? whoever the person is,he or she is a bastard..spreading the useless-technique to the world is something i hardly to accept it..

3- SELAWAT KE ATAS RASULLAH DAN BERZIKIR KEPADA ALLAH BANYAK2....my explanation: i am convinced this method is going to work and it does work..only me is not religious enough to practice it...ya Allah, berikanlah kekuatan iman pada hambaMu yang hina ini..

4- READ BOOKS...my explanation: it's plausible..

5- BREATH IT RIGHT...my explanation: even i use oxygen tank, it also failed..

p/s: there are more tips from my parents but i couldn't remember it..
p/s: have any better idea or tips to overcome my problem?
p/s: writing this post on wee-hour as one of the experiment to make me feel sleepy, unfortunately, as i thought, is another failure...