2009 is a year of death...

death is part of biological entity..everything that live eventually will die.nothing will last forever.death is whispering to ear in the nameless fear. there's nothing in this universe as certain as death. my father always said this~

" There are two things u can't run from; death and taxes"

we can be so happy today, can smoke, can sing, can see but if our time come, you will be six feet under..perhaps, if God wants to take your lives, you will be dead before u can read the next sentence in this post..when your soul is saying good bye, you will suffer the pain and agony..we always told to be ready to face the Angel of Death but are we ready for him? or are we not?



well, back on the title of this post, i think the Angel of Death is very busy this year. yeah, it is his job to take life. erm, let's make thing short, today, the head of the nasyid group,Rabbani to be precise, Asri Ibrahim died early this morning due to heart attack..he was one of the founder in the occupation of nasyid in Malaysia. actually, i don't really like nasyid group because i think they are bunch of hypocrites. well, i guess i can an exception for Rabbani and Raihan..their songs was once a pandemic to Malaysia citizen..he really spreading the the teaching of Islam and the good deeds to human kind through nasyid..may Allah laid him in peace..

erm.. i list down only some of the great name in local and international that died in this year...



1- Michael Jackson: i think his death is the longest and unacceptable by most of the Earth citizen.. he tried to change the world during his lifetime, but he transform the world after his death..enough said..


2- Farah Fawcett: she is one of the Charlie's Angel character in the series. she is so damn famous and she traveled to whole world to promote and gave speeches to help cancer patient to be strong because she also had cancer.. she died on the same day of Michael Jackson's death..the media is not giving too much attention to her..


3- Yasmin Ahmad: i like her so much..her movies and commercial advertisements really gave impact to the Malaysian. she filled the cinema screen with her masterpiece unlike razak moheidin, yusof haslam, ahmad idham who make rubbish movies that served to retarded malaysian...i even did not capitalize their name.. bastards do not reserve for that..

Malaysian political member:

4- Dato' Mohd Hamdan Abd Rahman: he was Pas state assemblyman in Penang..also a great man.

5- Ismail Yaacob: he was also state assemblyman in Manik Urai.. a noble man..

6- Razali Ismail: member of parliment of Kuala Terengganu..he was deputy of minister of education.

so many other politician died, even the exco of Selangor was dead too..well, Nordin Mat Top live long enough to die at another day..the raid in Yogjakarta few days ago allegedly killed him but after DNA result proven the man died in the raid is not Nordin Mat Top..

that's all for now...thanks for reading this quite heavy post..

Into the Sleepless Nights....

they got word for this..it's called insomnia..and i got this disorder since form two..it means i can't sleep well or in my situation, sleeping is something hard to achieve and u need to work hard just to sleep..pretty weird huh?? i know people love to sleep. some spend half of their life by sleeping all days and nights..there was a story told by my father that one of his friends can't sleep for days but once he shuts his eyelids, he can go sleeping not just for a half damn day but can last up to 2 to 3 days without even waking up...if you ask me, that's not just a compliment,~it's an achievement..







i love to sleep but i need at LEAST one hour to close my eyes..but, most of the time, it takes more than that..the disorder is killing me..i can't sleep at night when others are hugging their wives and husbands and teddy bear. mathematic and algebra require balancing~~when u hard to sleep, u hard to wake up..ironically, i am gifted with morning classes which i find another difficulties in my already difficult life..crawling from the bed that chains me, bind me, glued to me is something that my previous, current, and upcoming house mates punch their faces twice. it's like a victory to them when they are successfully wake me up..damn it~






amazingly, when the eye of heaven (Shakespeare W., Sonnet 18) touches the teeth of horizon, my eyes are dragging to close the shop.. once i fall to sleep, i will be haunted with dreams..i never missed not a single night, not even a moment of sleeping, without the attendance of dreams..its make me tired and my head is heavy..either the dream is good or pleasant or scary, it is part of my life..i hate dreaming of running..running from dinosaurs, monsters, demons and anything u can hardly imagine. these bastards are chasing me, of course, in my dream and i damn fucking sick of it. honestly, i hate running even in conscious situation..

i tried so many tips to make me fall asleep easily..when i consult the doctor, he said he can't give me the sleeping pills for a reason of the evidence: death of Heath Ledger and Marilyn Monroe~~~drug overdose..i ain't drug addict and perhaps for that particular reason they can't give me the pills..well, even it's hard, but i accept it because they are who-know-why people..the thing is, don't let yourself been spoon feed with bullshits just because of they are doctors and they consume their tremendous time learning all those stuff..well, mark my word, they are a bunch of people, who, like us, can make mistake too.. judge it with your own rationality..

my parents know my rusty problem and they throw me the tips, which are:

1- SLEEP EARLY...my explanation: i tried but failed..

2- SHEEP COUNTING...my explanation: this is ridiculous. i was once count it up to 3000 sheeps crossing the damn wooden gate but it also failed. i'll bet if count the sheeps or even the pink pigs using scientific calculator, it will also failed..i wonder where this so-called sleeping aid idea comes from at the first place? whoever the person is,he or she is a bastard..spreading the useless-technique to the world is something i hardly to accept it..

3- SELAWAT KE ATAS RASULLAH DAN BERZIKIR KEPADA ALLAH BANYAK2....my explanation: i am convinced this method is going to work and it does work..only me is not religious enough to practice it...ya Allah, berikanlah kekuatan iman pada hambaMu yang hina ini..

4- READ BOOKS...my explanation: it's plausible..

5- BREATH IT RIGHT...my explanation: even i use oxygen tank, it also failed..

p/s: there are more tips from my parents but i couldn't remember it..
p/s: have any better idea or tips to overcome my problem?
p/s: writing this post on wee-hour as one of the experiment to make me feel sleepy, unfortunately, as i thought, is another failure...

why tickets always gone??

malaysia is gifted with a lot of holidays. i love it~~one (or maybe the only) of the good things to live in malaysia..useless to mention it because we are all aware of it..the anticipation of these holidays means a thing: people hysterically rushing to their hometown with madness..put aside the responsibilities, tasks, assignments, jobs for one thing people love the most~holiday..

they don't give a shit about that, not even about the money, time, and energy just to get themselves be at home..furthermore, they are willingly to jeopardize their own life..you can read in every newspaper, heard in every radio station, seen in every television channel about death on the road during the festive season..perhaps, when foreign people see how lunatic the malaysian people really are, they will be either laughing or slapping their faces twice..




i experienced with own body and soul stuck in this madness. a journey where usually takes about 6 hours can become a half-damn-day journey. it is not a myth where big cities like KL becoming a hollow dead town during festive season..some say you can even have a picnic on the highway where during normal days it is a hell on earth..

in this madness, who are going to make the most profit? it definitely without doubt is going to petrol station, bus owner, and tony fernandes..make it simple, tickets are all gone and sold out right after the counter is open..then, comes the government to so-called rescue by saying there will be enough bus for the festive and what not. the reality is, there always not enough bus. the price of every public transportation will skyrocket to the sky..see below..






well, tickets are always gone in a blink of an eye..